Around the same time that I connected with Beefy Brian, I was also contacted by a young man with the screen name “SoCalCool”. Now that’s an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one. I’ve stated before what I think about these ridiculous screen names and what they say about people. Beefy Brett spent over 5 hours a day at the gym and zero hours per day reading anything other than the back of the protein powder jar. One scoop? Or two? Durrrrr…..
So here we have another one who was going to waste my time with the text messages without ever meeting up- perfect. Why are you on a dating site?
Like Beefy Bri, Beefy Brett was persistent. The text message conversations were truly shocking. This man appeared to be functioning at a 5th grade education level, yet owned his own lucrative real estate business as well as a home. He also used the word “lol” more than a 12 year old girl, and said things like “I’m cereal!” instead of “I’m serious.” I felt like I was being catfished by a middle schooler. Behold:
My head actually hurt from these interactions. Just when I was about to cut OMGXOXOLOLSMILEYFACELMAO Brett loose so he could go back to
the Taylor Swift concert the gym, I received the following, which understandably stopped me in my tracks…
Look, I happen to have a thing for intellectual guys. As far as I’m concerned, the more degrees a man has, the more of my clothes are coming off. But even I couldn’t look away from this masterpiece.
He asked for a photo of myself in return, and so I sent him one. Of my face, because come on.
Unfortunately, like his beefy counterpart before him, Brett crossed a line. No matter how gorgeous a man is, I don’t tolerate certain remarks. The only thing lower than the couth level of comment was Brett’s IQ.
And that was all she wrote on Brett.
I’d like to take this moment to address my female peers. Ladies, if a guy speaks like this to you, and you tolerate it because he’s hot, that’s not cool. Please don’t try to play it off like it’s funny and you aren’t offended because you’re “one of the guys”. If that’s really the case, then from the bottom of my heart, I hope you get a horrendous case of gas when you’re on your date with him. It shouldn’t be a problem for you, you’re just one of the guys.
In closing….be on the lookout for bad beef. No one wants mad cow disease.